We’ve all had a moment when we’re driving down the street on trash day and see the perfect thing for our house.
“Wow”, you think, “If only that thing weren’t in the trash. It would look fantastic with my great aunt Effie’s giraffe lamp on it.”
If you’re like most people, you keep driving. If you’re like me, you pull over, yank it out of the garbage, evaluate it to make sure it’s not missing a crucial element, and load it into your car.
Over the years, I’ve accumulated several rules for doing this successfully.
- Make sure you go “shopping” on trash day. People put great stuff out on the curb on trash day.
- Don’t worry about being seen. If the owner of the thing still wanted it, they shouldn’t have put it on the curb.
- If you are seen, just wave and say, “Hello! Beautiful day!”, then carry on with your trash excavation. This will flabbergast the previous owner long enough for you to get your treasure.
- If it’s physically in the garbage can, give it a miss.
- If you see something that’s in good shape but that you don’t like, take it home and sell it on Craigslist.
I’ve made good money by pulling things out of the trash. I’ve also provided my son with toys and clothes this way. To date, I’ve rescued:
- Two baby bouncers
- A baby bathtub
- Enough toys to keep my son happy up to now, with extras to sell
- A tummy time mat
- Four strollers, including three double strollers
- Three tables
- Ten dining chairs
- A bunk bed
- A tri-fold mirror
- A hose
This is not the full list. Dumpster diving may not be totally fashionable, but it sure is profitable.
I already have a busy life. I’m going to school for an Associate’s in Science, Math, and Technology. I’m working on my instrument rating for my pilot’s license. I have a husband in the Marine Corps and a 9 month old son. I have a 2000 square foot house to clean, a dog to walk, and a cat to tolerate. So why did I decide to add a blog to this?
Oh, yeah, because my baby carrier is going to eat my baby.
I was on Facebook today and I noticed a post one of my friends had on her wall. It said,
“Dude. I have seen and unholy amount of babies being carried forward facing, with their poor little legs dangling… I even saw with one b**** using a moby wrap to do it. She like that this poor baby wrapped up in like a sumo diaper and tied to her. I wanted to lose my s***. She seriously looked like she was gonna fall out.”
So why is this so awful? Oh, yeah, because I use a forward facing carrier for my baby. I have ever since my son was three or four months old and realized that if he was carried facing out, he could SEE! The WHOLE WIDE WORLD! And God forbid you try to carry this child facing towards you. When he was younger and not as strong, he would just scream. Now that he’s approximately as strong as one of those ants that can lift 10 times their body weight, he twists and turns until he’s about ready to plummet from your arms, then twists the other way super fast. I’ve even carried him facing out in a Moby wrap once or twice (usually when I left my other carrier at the house).
And now I learn that I’m dooming my son to a lifetime of awful hip problems because I want to be allowed back into stores instead of having a lifetime ban. Especially the Commissary. It’s so cheap and I like the free samples. So what’s a mother to do? Continue wearing him facing forward so I don’t piss off everyone in a thousand mile radius, or make him face towards me and invest in some good earplugs?
Update: We tried out several different carriers, and lo and behold, he likes the Ergo. We’re now $80 poorer and own a secondhand Ergo carrier that will not destroy my son’s hips.