Where have you been all my life?
Or at least all my pregnancy?
You make my back not hurt, even when I carry a toddler.
You stop my belly from feeling like it’s going to drop off.
You may not look nice, your name might be off-putting, and you may kill my husband’s sex drive, but you are PERFECT. I’m not in pain, which has been the only constant this entire pregnancy besides vomit. I can stand up without moaning. I can live again.
If I was not already married to the man of my dreams, I would seriously consider marrying you.
I just wish you didn’t make peeing in maternity jeans so difficult.